Yes that's right! You guessed it! Tis the season to be jolly! You know the rest.
Ahhh the Holiydays, can you smell it in the air? The smell of a Starbucks hot chocolate, which I am way too addicted too, sadly. The beautiful lights on every street in town that you drive around at night just to see. The competion between neighbors to see who can have the best said lights, something my mother is currently doing. I see the young people all choosing a significant other to cuddle up with for the stormy weather, I have my dogs for that...again sadly. Just kidding! I love my dogs, and rats, and blankets. Back to the subject!
Yes folks, the storms are rolling in and making it clear that winter is here. Strangely this is the most inspirational time of the year for me, actually the inspiration starts at Halloween and ends after my brithday. Of course inspiration comes all year round but it really picks up during the time of year when storms are perfectly ripe in the sky. Mostly Christmas time to late April.
Speaking of Christmas! Did you make your wish list and send it off to the jolly man up north? I sure did. I didn't ask for anything actually. Just a happy time. because when I think about it I have all I need or want. I have friends surprisingly enough, I have a crazy family, I'm pretty happy where I am. What I find strange is all the people who think they need More stuff to find happiness around the holidays. It's the time of year where I sit close to the oven as I bake my chocolately goodness. My plants have died as they too curl up inside and sleep for the winter. My flowers no longer bloom no matter how much I water them. I stop going for nightly walks because quiet frankly it's way too cold to step outside for more than three minutes.
Now I don't know about you, but I love, really really really really Really, love the stormy weather. I love putting a log in its place in the hearth and lighting it and warming myself by it. I love watching the rain or snow fall and cover my backyard, I love being all cozy in my home, what i don't love is how my room is always so freezing cold in the mornings. Seriously, every house I have ever lived in my room is the one thats freezing cold in the morning. No one else's....Hmmm...
Stay warm and safe and jolly for Christmas and the impending New Year my freaky darlings!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Man oh man.
After a couple months of inner and outer turmoil I have returned, and I am fine.
But down to strangeness!
Celebrity crushes. We've all had one. Admit it. You know you have. Whether you're a guy or girl, you've had a crush on the famous. I know I have. And man oh man, when I have a crush I go crazy. Not stalker crazy, but I watch every movie and watch every interview they've been in kind of crush. Not to mention they invade my dreams at least 99% of the time that I happen to be crushing on them.
Yes, weird I know. Obviously.
At the moment I have the biggest crush on the sexy beast Ralph Fiennes. I don't even know why! And that's the thing about these crushes. You never suspect them! You'll be flipping through the channels one day, or night, and bam! There he or she is and you think "Alright I'll watch this movie. Its a good one anyways."
So you watch it and by the end of the movie you're kissing the t.v. screen going "Oh I love you Ralph!" Or whoever it is you're crushing on. Its so weird.
I don't know about your crushes but mine last for oh say......a long time. And there's no turn off or anything it just fades. But not Ralph Fiennes! Oh no, he just won't stay out of my head and dreams. Its not like I meant or mean for this happen it just kind of does. Sorry? In the past it I've actually only had one or two other crazy crushes. Elijah Wood, Geoffery Rush (Don't ask), Sean Connery (hey, he's very handsome for an older man!)...Ralph.....and some fictional characters.
But its just the strangest thing! All of a sudden. Surprise! Ralph Fiennes is in my dream and the next one, and the next one....And then a crush blooms and I'm stuck! Not surprisingly I always crush on older men...Much older men...
On the plus side, I get really inspired. I don't even have to be writing about the "crush", they inspire me as well as seduce me...Did I say seduce? I meant invade my dreams rather rudely. Ha!
Strange? I think yes!
But down to strangeness!
Celebrity crushes. We've all had one. Admit it. You know you have. Whether you're a guy or girl, you've had a crush on the famous. I know I have. And man oh man, when I have a crush I go crazy. Not stalker crazy, but I watch every movie and watch every interview they've been in kind of crush. Not to mention they invade my dreams at least 99% of the time that I happen to be crushing on them.
Yes, weird I know. Obviously.
At the moment I have the biggest crush on the sexy beast Ralph Fiennes. I don't even know why! And that's the thing about these crushes. You never suspect them! You'll be flipping through the channels one day, or night, and bam! There he or she is and you think "Alright I'll watch this movie. Its a good one anyways."
So you watch it and by the end of the movie you're kissing the t.v. screen going "Oh I love you Ralph!" Or whoever it is you're crushing on. Its so weird.
I don't know about your crushes but mine last for oh say......a long time. And there's no turn off or anything it just fades. But not Ralph Fiennes! Oh no, he just won't stay out of my head and dreams. Its not like I meant or mean for this happen it just kind of does. Sorry? In the past it I've actually only had one or two other crazy crushes. Elijah Wood, Geoffery Rush (Don't ask), Sean Connery (hey, he's very handsome for an older man!)...Ralph.....and some fictional characters.
But its just the strangest thing! All of a sudden. Surprise! Ralph Fiennes is in my dream and the next one, and the next one....And then a crush blooms and I'm stuck! Not surprisingly I always crush on older men...Much older men...
On the plus side, I get really inspired. I don't even have to be writing about the "crush", they inspire me as well as seduce me...Did I say seduce? I meant invade my dreams rather rudely. Ha!
Strange? I think yes!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
The broken
Can the heart still beat once it's broken?
I know I love him becuase I want him to be happy....even if he's with another girl and not me. It hurts so so much to hear what he told me but he's so happy. I want him happy.
What chance did I have anyways...The situation wasn't easy and being with him was never possible...But I took that leap and loved him anyways...Did he ever know it? Will he ever know it?
I know I love him becuase I want him to be happy....even if he's with another girl and not me. It hurts so so much to hear what he told me but he's so happy. I want him happy.
What chance did I have anyways...The situation wasn't easy and being with him was never possible...But I took that leap and loved him anyways...Did he ever know it? Will he ever know it?
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Sadly it is what it is...
Have you ever found your self helping someone? I help people, it's what I do, what I want to do. Whenever someone has a problem I ask them if there is anything I can do to help. Anything at all. Sometimes they just need someone to talk to, or someone to hang out with for a day, or just someone to tell them that it will be alright.
I help a lot, I like helping people. But lately I've found that helping people is actually hurting me.
The more I try to help people the more it turns around and bites my hand...Hard.
It's sad to me because helping people is one of the things that makes me feel good. I like making friends happy, I like helping friends through a tough time. Most of the time it's a situation where I can say "Been there, done that, had that happen to me," and I can talk them through it and help them see the bright side.
I hate it when someone tells me that there is nothing I can do to help. It makes me frustrated, and I don't like that feeling.
I try to help people be optimistic as much as possible, sometimes it works, other times people just want to be sad. I understand that, I'm a really understanding person, maybe too understanding at times.
But it seems that the more people I try to help the more people depend way too much on me or tell me a vague outline of they're going through and then telling me that I can't help at all.
I have some success stroies about my help that people have taken. I've heard that I've saved a lot of people, but then there are people who depend solely on me for support. That's not exactly what I was aiming for, I want those I help to lean on me when things are heavy but then stand on their own when things are good. They need to learn how to self rely on themselves like I had to do.
There was no one for me to lean on, which is how I became who I am. I learned to take care of myself emotionally, which works for me most of the time.
But then there are those I help or befriend who depend on me...and only me for happiness. They end up thinking that I'm the only good thing in their life. I'm probably the most helpful thing in their life, but there are other things worth living for. They need to make an effort to be happy.
They just need to face their fears and branch out to find the healthy thing that makes them happy.
Like me and my writing and music.
Why are things turning on me suddenly? Someone got mad because I voiced the honesty that they WANTED to hear. I was concerned for someone's well being and they got mad. I'm put in backwards situations and it gets weird. I only do what I think is best for people. I'm sorry if caring about you is bad coming from me.
All I want to do is make people happy...But I don't want to be their sole dependant becuase I have flaws too and I can't be perfect. (An exception is true love; when two people fall in true love and they are each other's world. I guesse that would be a little different though...)
I pick people up when they fall down and dust them off, but its up to them to take the first step forward.
I help a lot, I like helping people. But lately I've found that helping people is actually hurting me.
The more I try to help people the more it turns around and bites my hand...Hard.
It's sad to me because helping people is one of the things that makes me feel good. I like making friends happy, I like helping friends through a tough time. Most of the time it's a situation where I can say "Been there, done that, had that happen to me," and I can talk them through it and help them see the bright side.
I hate it when someone tells me that there is nothing I can do to help. It makes me frustrated, and I don't like that feeling.
I try to help people be optimistic as much as possible, sometimes it works, other times people just want to be sad. I understand that, I'm a really understanding person, maybe too understanding at times.
But it seems that the more people I try to help the more people depend way too much on me or tell me a vague outline of they're going through and then telling me that I can't help at all.
I have some success stroies about my help that people have taken. I've heard that I've saved a lot of people, but then there are people who depend solely on me for support. That's not exactly what I was aiming for, I want those I help to lean on me when things are heavy but then stand on their own when things are good. They need to learn how to self rely on themselves like I had to do.
There was no one for me to lean on, which is how I became who I am. I learned to take care of myself emotionally, which works for me most of the time.
But then there are those I help or befriend who depend on me...and only me for happiness. They end up thinking that I'm the only good thing in their life. I'm probably the most helpful thing in their life, but there are other things worth living for. They need to make an effort to be happy.
They just need to face their fears and branch out to find the healthy thing that makes them happy.
Like me and my writing and music.
Why are things turning on me suddenly? Someone got mad because I voiced the honesty that they WANTED to hear. I was concerned for someone's well being and they got mad. I'm put in backwards situations and it gets weird. I only do what I think is best for people. I'm sorry if caring about you is bad coming from me.
All I want to do is make people happy...But I don't want to be their sole dependant becuase I have flaws too and I can't be perfect. (An exception is true love; when two people fall in true love and they are each other's world. I guesse that would be a little different though...)
I pick people up when they fall down and dust them off, but its up to them to take the first step forward.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Touchy....
I'll adimt somethig here. It's about a touchy subject that people don't really like talking about. Of course there are some people like my self who like it.
I'm talking about rape.
Now before you go all crazy just listen for a moment. There are two main kinds of rape; written ( books, movies, manga, ect) and real life.
The real life kind is horrible, I don't like that kind at all and it's a punishment I wouldn't wish on on any girl enemies of m ine (if I had any). And if anyone I knew and loved was raped I'd most likely hunt down the S.O.B and kill himslowly and painfully.
But when I read it in a erotica book or something like that, I strangely find myself liking it.
I DON'T KNOW WHY.
There's just something about written rape that I like. I've actually written two rape scenes in a erotica story I've written. It's a stretch and some people might think that there's something wrong with me but I can't help it
In fiction stories I find it sexy. And it's sort of fun to write. Well to me it is anyway. I can't explain it, I don't know what makes me like the written kind. It's just strange, even to me.
I'm talking about rape.
Now before you go all crazy just listen for a moment. There are two main kinds of rape; written ( books, movies, manga, ect) and real life.
The real life kind is horrible, I don't like that kind at all and it's a punishment I wouldn't wish on on any girl enemies of m ine (if I had any). And if anyone I knew and loved was raped I'd most likely hunt down the S.O.B and kill himslowly and painfully.
But when I read it in a erotica book or something like that, I strangely find myself liking it.
I DON'T KNOW WHY.
There's just something about written rape that I like. I've actually written two rape scenes in a erotica story I've written. It's a stretch and some people might think that there's something wrong with me but I can't help it
In fiction stories I find it sexy. And it's sort of fun to write. Well to me it is anyway. I can't explain it, I don't know what makes me like the written kind. It's just strange, even to me.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Been gone TOO long....
In the time of my absense I have become reaquainted with the imfamous vampire Dracula....
And I came to realize that the vampire's kiss is so aluring, and deadly.
What is it about the undead that make them so attractive?
NOT TWILIGHT....
Rant time...Twilighters ARE NOT vampires. They have NO fangs, and fit nothing of the vampire figure. I think Meyer was trying to create a new vampire but sadly she failed horribly. Same goes for the werewolves ( but I do like Jacob....Don't judge me) They aren't real werewolves. Their transformations have nothing to do with the moon or lunar activity at all. They aren't scary in the least. Again no werewolf in them, just more shapeshifters.
Anyways!!!!!!
What give me authority on the subject of vampires and werewolves you ask? Well I happen to be an expert on those types of beings and becuase I JUST DO HAVE THE AUTHORITY. I have delved deep in their world and explored every aspect and lore of both creatures. I think I have a bit more knowledge about the undead and immortal and lunartics that Ms. Meyer thank you very much.
Now where was I? Oh yes!
The kiss of the vampire...I laugh to myself as I think of what one kiss from the vampire can hold. A love smitten woman may think "How can one little kiss be of harm?" But oh! The harm is not to be done to the one she is giving it to. The kiss holds a few more things than she thought of....An immortal made, a body drained, a servant for always.
And a kiss meant to be innocent but the underlaying fact is that the kiss of death is actually very sexual. The vampire makes eye contact with the human, suduction. They draw close and become very intimate. And then the vampire's fangs come out, hate to say it but; erection, rise of lust. The bite is penetration. And the sucking of blood stands for loss of innocence *wink wink cough cough* After that the victim either gives in to the feeling of lust that the drinking of blood gives....or they fight it, standing for rape.
Yep...the underlaying meaning of a vampire's kiss.....
And I came to realize that the vampire's kiss is so aluring, and deadly.
What is it about the undead that make them so attractive?
NOT TWILIGHT....
Rant time...Twilighters ARE NOT vampires. They have NO fangs, and fit nothing of the vampire figure. I think Meyer was trying to create a new vampire but sadly she failed horribly. Same goes for the werewolves ( but I do like Jacob....Don't judge me) They aren't real werewolves. Their transformations have nothing to do with the moon or lunar activity at all. They aren't scary in the least. Again no werewolf in them, just more shapeshifters.
Anyways!!!!!!
What give me authority on the subject of vampires and werewolves you ask? Well I happen to be an expert on those types of beings and becuase I JUST DO HAVE THE AUTHORITY. I have delved deep in their world and explored every aspect and lore of both creatures. I think I have a bit more knowledge about the undead and immortal and lunartics that Ms. Meyer thank you very much.
Now where was I? Oh yes!
The kiss of the vampire...I laugh to myself as I think of what one kiss from the vampire can hold. A love smitten woman may think "How can one little kiss be of harm?" But oh! The harm is not to be done to the one she is giving it to. The kiss holds a few more things than she thought of....An immortal made, a body drained, a servant for always.
And a kiss meant to be innocent but the underlaying fact is that the kiss of death is actually very sexual. The vampire makes eye contact with the human, suduction. They draw close and become very intimate. And then the vampire's fangs come out, hate to say it but; erection, rise of lust. The bite is penetration. And the sucking of blood stands for loss of innocence *wink wink cough cough* After that the victim either gives in to the feeling of lust that the drinking of blood gives....or they fight it, standing for rape.
Yep...the underlaying meaning of a vampire's kiss.....
Monday, March 7, 2011
Wouldn't be human if you didn't fear...
What is the one thing you fear most?
Do you fear many things, or few?
I fear nothing...I used to be afraid of things until I joined what I was afraid of....My message this time isn't to join what you fear...not at all.
But I embraced what I was afraid of...the Boogey Man...Freddy....IT...that fear...and of mortal things..like death....I fear death not, for it will happen and no one can stop it.
Not even the undead...Vampires even face death...Dracula has shown that. The vampires from Interview with a Vampire faced death...While I don't want to die today if I was going to I wouldn't fear it. I know who and what awaits me on the other side.
And I'm not preaching either.
I don't know what I had hopped to get out of this blog or to give you the people.
I have had a broken heart and was so afraid of it happening aagin that I put up walls....but then I realized one day that I have to let some things go, and that if a person broke my heart it most likely wasn't meant to be. Every person has someone out there waiting to be found, to fill that other half of the heart. And so, as long as I have friends who I know love me, I'm not afraid of heartbreak anymore...Even though it's something I avoid...
I once feared change, but now it's happened so often I don't care about it anymore.
I feared Freddy as a child, I feared many things, but something changed, I don't know what. But one day I woke up and I loved him. dracula is a lover to fear for sure, but I don't see my self as the one fearing, I see myself as the one BEING feared.
Is it better to be loved or feared?
I think loved...loved by your followers for being feared by enemies...
But people say you wouldn't be human if you weren't afraid...does that mean I'm not human anymore? Everbody fears something but I nothing.....except, perhapes, time. Time is the one enemy that I can't defeat nor can I ever hope to defeat...not even vampires can defeat time..Louis (Interview..vampire) even fell victim to the sorrows of time...The only time I find joy in time is when I sleep...sleep brings me realization and inspiration...Is it too strange to say I fear nothing? Do you believe me that a person can fear nothing?
Do you fear many things, or few?
I fear nothing...I used to be afraid of things until I joined what I was afraid of....My message this time isn't to join what you fear...not at all.
But I embraced what I was afraid of...the Boogey Man...Freddy....IT...that fear...and of mortal things..like death....I fear death not, for it will happen and no one can stop it.
Not even the undead...Vampires even face death...Dracula has shown that. The vampires from Interview with a Vampire faced death...While I don't want to die today if I was going to I wouldn't fear it. I know who and what awaits me on the other side.
And I'm not preaching either.
I don't know what I had hopped to get out of this blog or to give you the people.
I have had a broken heart and was so afraid of it happening aagin that I put up walls....but then I realized one day that I have to let some things go, and that if a person broke my heart it most likely wasn't meant to be. Every person has someone out there waiting to be found, to fill that other half of the heart. And so, as long as I have friends who I know love me, I'm not afraid of heartbreak anymore...Even though it's something I avoid...
I once feared change, but now it's happened so often I don't care about it anymore.
I feared Freddy as a child, I feared many things, but something changed, I don't know what. But one day I woke up and I loved him. dracula is a lover to fear for sure, but I don't see my self as the one fearing, I see myself as the one BEING feared.
Is it better to be loved or feared?
I think loved...loved by your followers for being feared by enemies...
But people say you wouldn't be human if you weren't afraid...does that mean I'm not human anymore? Everbody fears something but I nothing.....except, perhapes, time. Time is the one enemy that I can't defeat nor can I ever hope to defeat...not even vampires can defeat time..Louis (Interview..vampire) even fell victim to the sorrows of time...The only time I find joy in time is when I sleep...sleep brings me realization and inspiration...Is it too strange to say I fear nothing? Do you believe me that a person can fear nothing?
Friday, March 4, 2011
Quotes..those little pieces of advice
Quotes. We all have one. We've all heard at least ten. My favorite quote has got to be "To be or not to Be" another favorite is "I didn't choose writing, writing chose me".
Many good quotes and thanks to my english teacher I've heard many good ones.
"Some men are born great, others have greatness thrust upon them" William Shakespeare, I think his quotes are quotes are quoted the most. He was a remarkable man. Very clever in my opion by creating such complex and thought provoking stories.
I think I strive to be as great as him, or at least on the same level. I'm a writer and it's taken me a while to realize that...
But back to quotes!
Some quotes don't make sense, some make perfect sense. Quotes are stories within themselves "In the absense of light Darkness prevails" The "Some men are born great" quote, "Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much" good peice of advice....
I could go on and on about how some quotes have helped me move along during hard times "Don't know what you got until it's gone" "Nothing to fear but fear its self".
And this one really inspires me ""Sleep, those little slices of death — how I loathe them."
"Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
Am I hurting your head with quotes yet?
Then I shall part with this last one about love...
"We loved with a love that was more than love" Edgar Allan Poe...
Many good quotes and thanks to my english teacher I've heard many good ones.
"Some men are born great, others have greatness thrust upon them" William Shakespeare, I think his quotes are quotes are quoted the most. He was a remarkable man. Very clever in my opion by creating such complex and thought provoking stories.
I think I strive to be as great as him, or at least on the same level. I'm a writer and it's taken me a while to realize that...
But back to quotes!
Some quotes don't make sense, some make perfect sense. Quotes are stories within themselves "In the absense of light Darkness prevails" The "Some men are born great" quote, "Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much" good peice of advice....
I could go on and on about how some quotes have helped me move along during hard times "Don't know what you got until it's gone" "Nothing to fear but fear its self".
And this one really inspires me ""Sleep, those little slices of death — how I loathe them."
"Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
Am I hurting your head with quotes yet?
Then I shall part with this last one about love...
"We loved with a love that was more than love" Edgar Allan Poe...
Thursday, March 3, 2011
A day late..
Well this blog won't be much...just an update.
Yesterday was my usual mid week blog day but there was a bloody incident and I was unable to blog.
So this little post will take the place of that blog. Tomorrow's blog will be about quotes!
Fare well to whom it may concern....
Yesterday was my usual mid week blog day but there was a bloody incident and I was unable to blog.
So this little post will take the place of that blog. Tomorrow's blog will be about quotes!
Fare well to whom it may concern....
Monday, February 28, 2011
One song can do so much...
Have you ever been so addicted to a song that you can't stop listening to it for days, or even weeks on end?
I have!
The song of this addiction is called Futuristic Lover by Katy Perry. I haven’t stopped listening to it for days now! Ever since that YouTube video...
I love all kinds of music...EXCEPT rap and country...I only listen to about two songs in each of those categories...
I also like Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, and Beyonce.
But my real love for music is in Ozzy Osbourne, Iron Maiden, GNR, Metallica...Black Sabbath...a.k.a. Metal/Rock N Roll.
I've even been on band binges...Metallica binge, GNR binge, Ozzy binge...A music binge is an addiction to that song or band..It or they are all you listen to. HA
Last summer it was an Iron Maiden binge...in December it was a Metallica binge. I go on a binge every now and then...
Music is like medicine, it saved my life not once but twice. It helps to inspire me a lot when I write. An entire book that I'm writing is based o an Iron Maiden album. It's pretty good so far, thanks Iron Maiden!
Characters are based off of songs or band members from other bands as well.
The music eras I love most are the 60's to the 80's...The 70's were my time man! I often say that I was born in the wrong era. Haha If only good music was still around.
Besides rock I love a couple Opera's and musicals, and the like of Vivaldi, Mozart, and Beethoven.
Music lifts me when I'm down. It inspires me and saved me. It's a love that I have.
If only my Zune worked...I need music for it and to recharge it...I would have my head phones in my ears all the time.
Music has always been a strange infatuation for human beings ever since the dawn of time.
And I don't just love music like other people do...I have a strange love for it...
I have!
The song of this addiction is called Futuristic Lover by Katy Perry. I haven’t stopped listening to it for days now! Ever since that YouTube video...
I love all kinds of music...EXCEPT rap and country...I only listen to about two songs in each of those categories...
I also like Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, and Beyonce.
But my real love for music is in Ozzy Osbourne, Iron Maiden, GNR, Metallica...Black Sabbath...a.k.a. Metal/Rock N Roll.
I've even been on band binges...Metallica binge, GNR binge, Ozzy binge...A music binge is an addiction to that song or band..It or they are all you listen to. HA
Last summer it was an Iron Maiden binge...in December it was a Metallica binge. I go on a binge every now and then...
Music is like medicine, it saved my life not once but twice. It helps to inspire me a lot when I write. An entire book that I'm writing is based o an Iron Maiden album. It's pretty good so far, thanks Iron Maiden!
Characters are based off of songs or band members from other bands as well.
The music eras I love most are the 60's to the 80's...The 70's were my time man! I often say that I was born in the wrong era. Haha If only good music was still around.
Besides rock I love a couple Opera's and musicals, and the like of Vivaldi, Mozart, and Beethoven.
Music lifts me when I'm down. It inspires me and saved me. It's a love that I have.
If only my Zune worked...I need music for it and to recharge it...I would have my head phones in my ears all the time.
Music has always been a strange infatuation for human beings ever since the dawn of time.
And I don't just love music like other people do...I have a strange love for it...
Friday, February 25, 2011
A rift in Time and Space....
Have you ever had a dream that you can't let go of? You go back to sleep hoping that the dream will return...
I've had a couple dreams like that. But have you ever had a dream that feels so real that you have to force yourself to differentiate which world is really real? In 2008 I had a dream so real that I'm convinced it wasn't just a dream...it was different place in time, I felt the pain, the emotions. Everything about that dream was so strong....So I made a book out of it and I revisited that dream world several different times and each was different part of the story.
Can I really travel to a different time in a different world?
I feel like it...I feel with all my heart and soul that the world I dreamt of was and is real. I believe all dreams are either your soul traveling through space and time or our subconscious unlocking the tightly closed chest that so called "reality" creates. People create a reality where really, nothing is possible. Vampires and werewolves aren't possible. If people really believed that anything is possible then they would have a more open mind and say that there IS a possibility that certain things called myth are real. The myth had to come from somewhere and scientists and historians are always coming up with new ways to rationalize the origins of werewolves and vampires.But you can't rationalize everything like that....
I may not be making sense, you can believe that I don't even know what I'm talking about.
People are just scared of what they no know nothing about.
In my alternate time there's a man that is in love with me and I him...we're married. We'd die for each other and we have complete understanding for each other. I don't believe in every "myth" out there...but some feel stronger than others...attract me more than others.
That other place where I go in my dreams feels too real....and my dreams lead to strange infatuations, not just night dreams but my waking/day dreams. I once had a dream about having Freddy Krueger's child...it was so real, felt so incredibly real, that when I woke up my hand went straight to my stomach to feel for a baby...but there was none and instead of being satisfied that it was all just a dream I was confused....it was just so real..so very, very, real.
My love are not just for characters in a movie or book or writing...it's for everything strange.
(but most of the time my loves are for the odd-one-out-character)
I've had a couple dreams like that. But have you ever had a dream that feels so real that you have to force yourself to differentiate which world is really real? In 2008 I had a dream so real that I'm convinced it wasn't just a dream...it was different place in time, I felt the pain, the emotions. Everything about that dream was so strong....So I made a book out of it and I revisited that dream world several different times and each was different part of the story.
Can I really travel to a different time in a different world?
I feel like it...I feel with all my heart and soul that the world I dreamt of was and is real. I believe all dreams are either your soul traveling through space and time or our subconscious unlocking the tightly closed chest that so called "reality" creates. People create a reality where really, nothing is possible. Vampires and werewolves aren't possible. If people really believed that anything is possible then they would have a more open mind and say that there IS a possibility that certain things called myth are real. The myth had to come from somewhere and scientists and historians are always coming up with new ways to rationalize the origins of werewolves and vampires.But you can't rationalize everything like that....
I may not be making sense, you can believe that I don't even know what I'm talking about.
People are just scared of what they no know nothing about.
In my alternate time there's a man that is in love with me and I him...we're married. We'd die for each other and we have complete understanding for each other. I don't believe in every "myth" out there...but some feel stronger than others...attract me more than others.
That other place where I go in my dreams feels too real....and my dreams lead to strange infatuations, not just night dreams but my waking/day dreams. I once had a dream about having Freddy Krueger's child...it was so real, felt so incredibly real, that when I woke up my hand went straight to my stomach to feel for a baby...but there was none and instead of being satisfied that it was all just a dream I was confused....it was just so real..so very, very, real.
My love are not just for characters in a movie or book or writing...it's for everything strange.
(but most of the time my loves are for the odd-one-out-character)
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Writers write
I guess this is how Harely Quinn would feel with the Joker...She wasn't supposed to love him but she did anyway...
I've actually started a couple fanfics on a couple of the infatuations last mentioned.
And I wouldn't just write short story fanfics..Me? Write a short story? Well then you'd have to define "short". I've written short stories before but what I call "short" is more like nine or so pages long...Yeah.That's short for me..I did write a story a few days ago that was only three pages long...but I forced myself to make it that way. If I wasn't told by everyone around me to keep it under five pages it probably would have ended up somewhere around six pages. Two weeks ago I was asked to write a short and what I turned out was ten pages long...and I wasn't even finished yet!
Well all I can say is that I'm a natural born writer, and writers write. . .a lot.
So back to my infatuations.
Some go on to be fantasy lovers..I mean who doesn't end up having a fantasy lover? I don't control my dreams I let them take their courses and they turn out pretty dang weird. Dreams are where I can be with anyone, be anyone, do anything. Most of my better stories are part of dreams. Day dreams, night dreams, nightmares/ night terrors.
I've always known I was weird, different from everybody. People always say "Be different" but even with that said, I go way beyond just that kind of different. I'm like the poster-child for weirdness (strangeness). As a child when all the other kids were outside playing and having fun I would be in a corner reading a book. I've probably read more books than anyone else in my family even if I didn't read a book all the way through, it's like I've held, opened, looked through, picked up more books than my family.
Which might be the reason why I deeper understanding for older language....today in class my teacher gave a Quick Write ( we write our thoughts about a provided quote) "All charming people, I fancy, are spoiled" Oscar Wilde..and just about everyone in the class missunderstood the way "fancy" was being used....I don't know why, but a lot of people in that class don't seem to know anything about old literature and language....makes me feel even more out of place...again with the different. But I love it and wouldn't have it any other way.
A heads up for future blogs...not all will be about loving a person. Some will be about strange food that I love. like Saltine Crackers dipped in milk, it's actually better than it sounds *wink* And when my current fanfic gets longer a link will be in order.
I've actually started a couple fanfics on a couple of the infatuations last mentioned.
And I wouldn't just write short story fanfics..Me? Write a short story? Well then you'd have to define "short". I've written short stories before but what I call "short" is more like nine or so pages long...Yeah.That's short for me..I did write a story a few days ago that was only three pages long...but I forced myself to make it that way. If I wasn't told by everyone around me to keep it under five pages it probably would have ended up somewhere around six pages. Two weeks ago I was asked to write a short and what I turned out was ten pages long...and I wasn't even finished yet!
Well all I can say is that I'm a natural born writer, and writers write. . .a lot.
So back to my infatuations.
Some go on to be fantasy lovers..I mean who doesn't end up having a fantasy lover? I don't control my dreams I let them take their courses and they turn out pretty dang weird. Dreams are where I can be with anyone, be anyone, do anything. Most of my better stories are part of dreams. Day dreams, night dreams, nightmares/ night terrors.
I've always known I was weird, different from everybody. People always say "Be different" but even with that said, I go way beyond just that kind of different. I'm like the poster-child for weirdness (strangeness). As a child when all the other kids were outside playing and having fun I would be in a corner reading a book. I've probably read more books than anyone else in my family even if I didn't read a book all the way through, it's like I've held, opened, looked through, picked up more books than my family.
Which might be the reason why I deeper understanding for older language....today in class my teacher gave a Quick Write ( we write our thoughts about a provided quote) "All charming people, I fancy, are spoiled" Oscar Wilde..and just about everyone in the class missunderstood the way "fancy" was being used....I don't know why, but a lot of people in that class don't seem to know anything about old literature and language....makes me feel even more out of place...again with the different. But I love it and wouldn't have it any other way.
A heads up for future blogs...not all will be about loving a person. Some will be about strange food that I love. like Saltine Crackers dipped in milk, it's actually better than it sounds *wink* And when my current fanfic gets longer a link will be in order.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Strange Loves
So recently I watched the movie Titan A.E. (Good movie I like it) I especially liked the character Preed...the tall alien who likes Akima...And then I realized that I found him strangely attractive. And that led me to realize how many odd charatcers in movies that I find cute or attractive when no one else does....I don't fall in love with them or anything...I just gravitate toward that character more than the others. To name a few there's Preed from Titan A.E. of course, Freddy Krueger of Nightmare on Elm Street, Gollum and Grima Worm Tongue, Frodo and Pipin from Lord of the Rings, Barbossa from Pirates of the Carribean, Kevin from Sin City (Elijah Wood's character), Count Dracula in general (Especially the 1950's-70's versions played by Christopher Lee). To name a few. (Hmm looks like I really love villians)
Some, I find myself attracted to in some strange way, others are...inspirational. Some people would probably think "Ewww. That guy? Really?" but yeah...I don't know why they attract me, they just do. Simple enough. For the most part they inspire me to write (I'm an aspiring writer) certian stories about them, they bring out their own little stories to me. It all makes me think about personal preferences, how extreme each one is from the next. Do I make sense? I know some people agree with me that sometimes a character that wasn't intended to be as much liked as the main character might attract them, (my friend and I both love Krueger) and then a song just adds to the inspiration.
In the end I know others and myself ask me the ultimate question "Why? Why THAT guy out of all of them?" The answer is....I don't know why. Sometimes things are just the way they are. Could be that the character is such an inspiration, or I think the outcast feels no love and I feel for him, or that the outcast is very interesting to me. It always depends on the person because I havn't heard of two people liking all of the same weird characters. I smile as I write this, because if you were ask me the "Why?" I would tell you, "I don't know, I just like him. I like to think I have all the answers to the questions people ask me, but I don't in those cases."
Good thing these characters are just that; characters. Or else I'd be chasing after them. HA! Of course, I'm just kidding *smile slyly*
Some, I find myself attracted to in some strange way, others are...inspirational. Some people would probably think "Ewww. That guy? Really?" but yeah...I don't know why they attract me, they just do. Simple enough. For the most part they inspire me to write (I'm an aspiring writer) certian stories about them, they bring out their own little stories to me. It all makes me think about personal preferences, how extreme each one is from the next. Do I make sense? I know some people agree with me that sometimes a character that wasn't intended to be as much liked as the main character might attract them, (my friend and I both love Krueger) and then a song just adds to the inspiration.
In the end I know others and myself ask me the ultimate question "Why? Why THAT guy out of all of them?" The answer is....I don't know why. Sometimes things are just the way they are. Could be that the character is such an inspiration, or I think the outcast feels no love and I feel for him, or that the outcast is very interesting to me. It always depends on the person because I havn't heard of two people liking all of the same weird characters. I smile as I write this, because if you were ask me the "Why?" I would tell you, "I don't know, I just like him. I like to think I have all the answers to the questions people ask me, but I don't in those cases."
Good thing these characters are just that; characters. Or else I'd be chasing after them. HA! Of course, I'm just kidding *smile slyly*
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